their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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