It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
