my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
