I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
