Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.

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(415): View more from California

Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....

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(416): View more from Toronto

I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

(647): View more from Ontario

Was he satisfied?

(416): View more from Toronto

No, and very vocal about it.

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(323): View more from California

I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.

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(303): View more from Colorado

the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.

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(253): View more from Washington

It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.

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