ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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