How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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