left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
