if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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