Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
