sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
