He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
