you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
