so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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