We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
