Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
