You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
