I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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