You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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