there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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