I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Found the puke drawer
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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