That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
