He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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