This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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