that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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