i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
