Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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