If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
