Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
