I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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