If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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