Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
