I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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