Moan for me like Helen Keller
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
