I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
