he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
