Where is the hickey?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
