I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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