I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
