that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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