ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
