Who wears a wallet chain?!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
