What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
