My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I understand Curling. That high.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
