why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
