Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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