You're so nebulous sometimes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
