I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
