ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
