u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
