Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
